* Welcome *
Gee Jia Xin
22 Aug 1991
Seventeen going Eighteen
mylife_jiaxin91@hotmail.com
TP, HTM. Class of 1H06
Mos Memoirs
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Wednesday, December 12, 2007
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I hate being at hm!Cuz there's dis monster,i call....He's taking control of everyting at hm!Argh,i juz dun wanna state everyting out here....I dunno how shld i put it,i juz noe dat i dun lyk his presence!He noes dat i dislyk him,so he's getting nearer n nearer to me,for i dunno wad stupid reason,n those stupid,irritating,childish, nonsensical actions n questions!I juz cant stand it anymore! My room,i can say he's lyk occupying it lyk his....Im getting sick of those nights spending in the living myself....The sofa is juz lyk my bed,n im getting all kind of aches spending my night der....
The way he speaks n ask mum for something,is lyk demanding la....I hear liao also not happy lo....But wad can we do?!We can oni give in to him....We cant reject him, cant shout at him, cant scold him, cant explain to him, cant cant cant everything oso CANNOT!!! For he dun listen! He's juz super duper demanding n violent towards family members la....Recently acting violent again....Throwing glasses on the floor in the middle of the nite for dunno whatever reason,waking me up,seeing my dad sobbing n cleaning up the mess after....Aww....Dis year is the year i 1st saw my dad breaking down in front of me....Not juz once,but countless times....It juz show how "filial" is he....As if my parents n me r in jail,n he's the officer in charge? So we've to abide to him so closely dat we dun even have a choice to choose?Arghh! Dis is so STUPID!!I can tolerate anyting,but juz NOT dis NONSENSE! Ok,im stopping his craps here....Ppl who r closer here,u noe wad i mean....Even if u dun,i dun mind vomitting it all out for u to hear if u wanna noe in detailed....Not for anyting,but juz to make myself feel more relieved after spitting everyting out....But i doubt anyone will wanna hear cuz ppl normally dun talk abt saddening stuffs....Nvm,i shall blow up the anger someday to myself....
Weeks ago,because of some drama taking place at hm,dad asked me something (dat requires a yes or no ans)....I dunno how to reply him,but wad i could do was juz to give a shrug on my shoulders....Tinking back,i reali feel lyk asking him the same question again,n give the same reason dat he gave me....For i reali dislyk hm!I dunno y im saying dis,but honestly,i do!Despite,i love my parents....My life's incomplete without my mum....Whenever im at hm n she's not around,there's kinda a feeling dat my heart isnt complete....I treasure my dad....Though he's quite strict,he teaches me his life's skills knowledge,give me care n guidance through my growing years....Though im not as cls to him as my mum (girls n girls communicate better),but i stil love him as much.... Den u may ask,y do i stil dislyk hm? Well,i reali dunno how to explain it....Mayb its bcuz of bro....Sometimes seeing bro so lonely without much frens,i do bother to go up to him,n chat nicely wif him....But whenever i do so,he'll start his nonsensical,irritating n childish actions/questions,which i hate most....-_- juz now,he told me dat he'll start treating me well frm now on....I dunno its for real or wad,but i've heard tons of times of it when he talks to my mum abt it....*sighs*
Y wasnt anyone der when i needed?Y was everyone busy or unavailable when i needed dem most?All i could do was to struggle myself here....
[miserable.lonely.tongku] |Looking For My Happiness| *broken heart*
Friday, December 07, 2007
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Back frm Chiangmai....Time flies....Though 8 days seemed long, but while we were der, time past so quickly, little did we know our trip was ending so soon....I miss Chiangmai!The times when we were doing cip,when we were hanging around wif frens....Its so much fun!We learn a lot too,of cuz....Ok,i miss the hotel too....Lolz....I get my own bed at nite,i've peace slping,no disturbings at all!So peaceful....Though there's prank calls by "someone" in the day,but well,its all fun n joy i had der!Memorable n unforgetable moments....
Anw,was having the runs since i reach hm on tue....Lolz!I dunno y,but heck....It cures my hunger too....Good way to jian fei....=P whatever effects it may cause....I dun care....Die den die lo....Dun tink anyone will even bother....Life is so meaningless....Xing fu zhen de bu rong yi!
Although it was hurting deep inside,but it wasnt shown on the outside....Whatever phrases n sentences ppl use,im ignoring it....Though it's not wad i mean,i dun feel lyk correcting it....Juz let dem say wad pleases dem....Wad's the point of correcting it?Dey say "a",u correct it wif "b",den dey will chunk in "c","d","e","f" and etc etc....It oni make the situation worst,rit?I dunno y im dis way!I juz hate it!Y cant i voice out for myself?Y must i swallow everyting deep down in my throat n deep inside my heart?It hurts rit to the bottom everytime i do dis!But if nobody wanna give a listening ear,nor bother me,wad can i do?Nvm,i shall b myself....
-tong ku-